Writing Like You’re Smarter Than a 5th Grader

I recently read a new training procedure that was so jargon-filled and convoluted as to be completely unreadable.  I actually could not believe that the person writing it knew, himself, what it meant. 

Part of the beauty of good writing is simplicity. Some of the best journals -  The New York Times, Harvard Business Review and The Economist, for example -  write about very complicated subjects, yet simplify the content in order that you understand the true issues. 

Here are 2 statements that could be used to describe your company’s service:  

• We build CRM client interfaces for receiving verticals that contract our web-based ship-to platforms.  

Instead, try this:

• We write software that helps small companies deliver products that actually arrive on time so the owners can sleep at night.

Early in my marketing career, I learned that when writing for package or advertising, never use words that could not be understood by a 5th grader. We would agonize over wording to simplify everything to make it clear and easy to understand. I soon found that this had nothing to do with the education level of the American consumer, as much as it had to do with the fact that complicated wording is very often misunderstood and therefore loses all impact of its message.   This is not good in advertising.  This is also not good in training manuals. 

Complicated writing does not sound smart.  It is actually the symptom of cluttered thinking and/or a disregard for the person who must read it. 

So, even if you are smarter than a 5th grader, don’t write like you are.

Why On-Line Grocery Doesn’t Yet “Deliver”

Wall Street Journal reports  that Amazon is expanding their groceries online program with free delivery (without minimum order size).  It is part of their program called AmazonTote.  You get once-a-week delivery of groceries on a designated day with free delivery. Analysts predict this might finally break open the online grocery model.

So what’s up with home grocery delivery? Why hasn’t online shopping simply replaced the retail format? The concept and the business model have been around for over 15 years. Companies like Peapod started out in the early 1990s and many grocers quickly scaled up for what was believed to be an onslaught of consumers migrating to the internet for grocery purchasing.  Many of those same grocery chains have since cancelled the services due to lack of widespread consumer adoption.  Remember the “dot-com” era company, Webvan, that invested millions into a national infrastructure for home delivery and then went bankrupt back in 2001? Their issue was lack of customers, not a poor business model (It could be said that the business model was built on a huge predicted consumer base, so it was sort of flawed in the end.).  The small base of online shoppers of today are typically the elderly that may have trouble getting out. But for the average mom or dad of a growing family (grocery target sweet-spot), there is an obstacle, a dissonance, something isn’t working.  I sense a “consumer insight”….

The Consumer Insight (according to me) Why People Avoid Online Grocery

1. Gathering food is a psychological need.  Humans are creatures that have a deep instinct to go out and gather essentials such as food.  Whether it was to go kill an animal or tend a farm, it is who we are over the last couple of million years.  Therefore:
   • Gathering food is a highly sensory experience.  Consumers want to see, touch and smell their food.
   • Food and hunger is immediate.  The average shopping trip is under $20 because shopping is partly impulse, an on-the fly experience  (“I feel like tacos, tonight, we have everything except the tortillas”).
2. Consumers are not disciplined by nature.  Computer “database” interfaces require discipline and a pre-planning mindset.  While a grocery store may be a pain, the interface is pretty darn easy – you see it on the shelf, grab it, and go.  Therefore:
   • Selection and menu planning are easier done in a store environment where like items are visually grouped together for meal solutions.
3. Online registration is also cumbersome. Kathy has started the process 3 times and was “timed out” by family distractions during the process of gathering all the needed information. This is her single reason for not doing it.  (She is a highly disciplined person, btw).

The Solution Is In The Interface

One thing a computer screen does do well is show pictures in graphic color.  This means there is hope for online shopping.  However, most online grocers of today ignore this power. Lets look at the average selection approach to a typical database.  Does this approach make you hungry??   It’s all there – complete description, great feature price and free delivery.   

 

Kraft Grated Parmesan/Romano Cheese  8 ounces  Cannister

$15.87 $7.82

Get it by Monday, if you order in the next 3 hours and choose one-day shipping.

Eligible for FREE Shipping.   add to cart

 

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How about this approach? 

Wouldn’t it be great to scroll over this picture and pick something wonderful?  Of course it a bit more upscale, and the consumer is still likely to buy some sandwich slices in the end, but the experience would be so much cooler.   Retailers like Wegman’s have been wildly successful with a shopping experience that visually delights the consumer in-store with cheese bars, fresh food preparation, etc.  On-line retailers should take this approach of delighting your visual sense. Why not have a Café page for your breakfast – breads and pastries, coffees and a featured meal page, which would automatically purchase the recipe ingredients and provide recipe and preparation directions. Mama Mia – a deli shop that looks like an old Italian deli.  The possibilities are endless because it is all visual.  Its easy to set up – its just graphics!   Use the visual world of the computer to tap the consumer insight.  Online retailers are not yet using the power of the consumer insight to delight the shopper.  The “database” approach is nowhere near the what it could be.  The solution is to excite the consumer so that they will want to reach out with their hand and grab the displayed item.

Gotta go.  I’m getting hungry……

Turning Online Advertising Into E-Commerce

Today JPMorgan predicted that global e-commerce will grow 19% in 2011 and is forecasting that rate to continue through 2013.  What's more interesting is that 52% of people make an online purchase at least once per month, and only 12% didn’t shop online in 2010 (down from 20% in 2007).  This is according to JP Morgan senior analyst, Imran Khan.  Wow. Those are big numbers.  This is a swift and significant change in shopping behavior, even in a recession.
However, there is a bit of a disconnect pointed out as well.  Online advertising spending has grown significantly in the US – it reached 13.7% of total advertising, which far exceeded the percentage of online retail sales to total retail sales (3.9% of US retail).  This suggests some level of inefficiency.

 So what to make of this ecommerce to online advertising gap?   A couple of thoughts:

1. We have not yet hit the tipping point of online advertising.  There is a barrier that must still be overcome that will take more years of advertising to close the gap.
   
2. Online advertising may have little correlation to online sales.  This could be due to the fact that online advertising is a media, rather than retail, choice.  I can advertise soup on the internet, but I wouldn’t expect you to buy it there.  The same is true for restaurants, gasoline, etc.
   
3. Or….advertising is not effectively convincing people that online shopping is a safe, quick, and viable alternative to putting your coat on and driving to the mall.

Predicting the On-line Future

The internet and on-line world interests me because it promises to solve one of my life’s big problems.  I need to be far more productive. I often dream of how much more I could do in a given day if everything I do takes less time, I could perform multiple tasks simultaneously, and have all possible information at my fingertips.  If only I could speed up the rate of everything exponentially, I would be more productive (and therefore more successful and happy). There is an obvious problem with this logic, but let’s imagine this for now.  If I were to use this single criteria of solving my personal productivity issues to examine the on-line world, I could pretty accurately predict the following: 

1. On-line shopping will grow because it really does take less time to comparison shop on-line rather than in a physical mall.
   
2. Job hunting will move completely to the internet.  Job “surfing” will replace job hunting.
   
3. Social networking sites will replace email and most phone use and will evolve generationally.  For me, they can be very noisy, but younger people live within them and collect and maintain relationships.  I realize I still mostly want to talk with the people with whom I used to talk with before social sites were born. 
4. Personal branding and networking sites will grow. Networking is hard to do, and the internet can really help.  The platforms, however, need to evolve as the millions of folks coming into the LinkedIn world start to find it difficult to really stand out, get noticed and end up interrupting everyone’s day with random posts and comments.
   
5. On-line Collaboration, as a work tool, will take off.  Project collaboration, flexible work schedules and connecting to people around the world is an underused aspect of on-line.  This could change the way we work.
   
6. Search will continue to grow but mostly as a tool for comparison shopping.  Some will discover that they do want to learn more about things, but that will probably migrate back to the student homework level.
   
7. Television, movies, music, and books will all move to the internet – this saves me time because of portability and instant access.
   
8. The human interface for on-line will evolve away from the lap- or desktop to portable handheld, then to 3 dimensional, holographic and experiential, which will dial up the gaming aspect hugely.

Which all brings me back to my opening statement - do more, be more happy.  As I further immerse myself in this internet world – I realize I have spent inordinate amounts of time online on my laptop at the expense of human interaction with colleagues and loved ones  (I should exercise more too, btw). 
Social experience will soon become the new thing and crowd out internet usage. A weekend with your friends, hiking, will be the new “cool” and replace a weekend of blogging.  The internet still fights me here and ultimately will lose its grip on my time.  That’s my final prediction.