Social Sanity - Building Meaningful Relationships

I have been enjoying building my presence online.  I love writing a blog and tweeting now and again.  Facebook and Linked in have provided me exposure to old friends as well as new job opportunities.  Most of all, I have learned so much from the people, boards, and conversation that goes on around me.  My blog enjoys readers from all parts of the world, who I think reciprocate by enjoying the blog.  I am not selling anything.  I am not looking for customers.  I do this for fun and learning.

But I realize that the social media scorecard is numeric.  To gain more reach would take significantly more investment in time by blogging more frequently, posting to bigger boards, and trying to get picked up by major services.  I would need to tweet incessantly, build a personal website, personal Facebook page and more.  I guess I have Twitter envy when I compare my 200 followers to my connections, each who seem to have at least 10,000 followers.  

I have a job, a wonderful wife, and great kids.  My day is made up of work, family time and trying to give to my church, my community and musical projects.  The more I dial up the social media, the more I take away from other important priorities in life.  This is true of many pursuits.   

So for me there is a simple question.  What makes me happy, and how does social media help?  Is the payoff a numerical goal of followers, likers, and hits to my blog or twitter, and is it worth the sacrifice of real social opportunities.

People can engage with a circle of about 100 people on an on-going basis. If you nurture that group alone, it will provide you a rich social connections, love, feedback, and the ability to provide a network of connections and referrals for various life scenarios.  

Social Sanity is found by focusing upon real social connections, real people.  Your connections should be of value and help you accomplish goals – whether they be personal or business.  They need nurture in order to grow and develop – and that takes time.  You might find more meaning, but fewer followers, over a lunch date with a few old friends than tweeting a random thought (which at times feels like shouting into a crowded room of people). 

When you know that you are taking time away from nurturing real connections so that you can build the numbers, you are making a trade off.  This tradeoff is something much worse than just wasting time.

The Most Important Factor for Personal Success

If there is a single trait that successful people possess, it is the ability to see opportunity in situations where others do not.   What is just another day at the job for some, others see tremendous new business opportunities.  What is just another conversation with a colleague, others see as a networking opportunity, or sense that person’s fit in a new role.  When an unhappy customer calls, some see it as an opportunity to learn what went wrong and strengthen that very relationship. 

Like most truths regarding success, seeing and believing in opportunity is no secret.  During tough times, when one might feel less opportunistic, this ‘vision of sight’ goes against our natural wiring. Most people don’t intuitively see problems as opportunities.  We fear failure more than we embrace change and success.  We seek relaxation by switching off when the task at hand is done.  It may be how our brains are wired, or how we were programmed from those around us when we are young. 

This ability to see opportunity all around is a state of awareness that can be developed – here are 3-simple steps:

1. Surround yourself with like minds and people who demonstrate this ability. Negative thinking and lack of ideas are far more prevalent in your environment than you may think.
2. Clear your mind from clutter and fear - become aware of opportunities.
3. Practice everyday – starting with simple, non-threatening situations first.  Keep a list of new ideas, change your own negative comments to idea building comments.  Soon it will become second nature. 

Sensing opportunity is something that can be learned and can contribute greatly to your success.  But, it must be practiced until it is the the first path of thought.   When you look around your life, what do you see? 

How to Provide Feedback to Creative Ideas

One of the most uncomfortable but important moments for marketers and executives is in evaluating and providing feedback to creative ideas.  Whether the idea is advertising, media, web designs, packing or a promotional concept, – or any idea for that matter. 

After an idea has been presented by an agency or internal team, many times, the feedback is not constructive. It can be a long running commentary on the personal likes and dislikes of the idea that are not fully thought through and lack a clear point of view and direction.  Even worse, the feedback can be too short, too negative or disjointed if there are several people commenting.  Also, great work is great work, it should be seen and accepted as such without endless small nitpicks on improvement.

Good feedback takes practice and is an art to handle correctly.  But there is a very simple framework approach that makes the process easy and productive if followed in a step-by-step fashion.  Having sat through hundreds of these presentation, and still learning, I find this simple approach most effective.

5 Key Steps to Providing Feedback on Creative Ideas

1. Sincerely thank the people that worked hard on the idea – really, the presenters have poured a lot of time and energy.  You would be surprised at how rarely this is done
2. Point out first what is working well  given the brief objective.  What is inspiring?  What connects with you personally?
3. Which idea best communicates the key consumer idea identified in the brief, regardless of your personal liking.
4. What areas could be improved and what is missing – was anything unclear, confusing, etc.  Be specific as to elements you with which you are having problems.
5. Do not try to fix the creative with your specific suggestions – this will backfire and leave the creative team uncomfortable, uninspired and confused with what to do next. They are the creative group you have hired for their expertise, not your own.

By the way, I have also seen marketers take a short break and compose their thoughts before providing feedback against these points.  This is a perfectly acceptable approach and the creative team will appreciate your well-constructed feedback. 

This 5-step approach is perfect for feedback for any creative presentation and can be adapted to fit your own personal style.  It is simple and keeps comments focused, clear and useable.  The creative team will be more likely to hear the feedback and and feel inspired to take their work to the next level if needed.

The Power of Your Inner Circle

While I am no an expert on executive coaching, there is one thing that I have found true of successful people – the ones who consistently make things happen while others are merely getting by.

Bruce Springsteen and Jon Landau

Their secret is the power of their inner circle.  It’s surrounding yourself with like minds that are supportive of your goals and compliment your style. They fill in where you are not as strong to bring skills and strength to your vision.  Steve Jobs had Wozniak.  Bill Gates had Paul Allen and Steve Ballmer.  Paul had George, John and Ringo (as well as George Martin).  Springsteen had Jon Landau – a music writer who became his producer and went on to produce his biggest records.  Larry Page and Sergey Brin together launched Google.

Beatles and George Martin 1962

Andrew Carnegie once said that the reason he could make money in virtually any industry he would choose was that he had the best minds in the world in his inner circle managing his business. He attributed that alone to his commercial successes. It’s the inner core, the Power circle.  You might be a financial genius or marketing pro, but you will need the advice of product development, operations, and customer management.  You get the picture. 

Most folks of any level of success likely have an inner circle, but may not (formally or informally) consciously leverage the group as a team.  So how do you build and nurture your Power Circle.  First identify the importance of it.  Communicate you goals.   These are not just your golfing buddies, your friends from bridge club.  These folks are in for the ride and share your agenda.  They are confidants in the world of business and may be financially dependent upon your success – as you may be to theirs.   

Larry Page and Sergey Brin

Second, nurture the relationship.  Remember, it is a two way street.  They will want to help you but will likely want to understand what is in it for them if the requests are serious about managing your career and business.   And then be consistent, continuous and generous with your time for these folks.  You are building a fortress called the Inner circle.  It is the power behind your success (and perhaps theirs as well).